I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
