Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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