The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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