My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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