i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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