Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She told me I should be a condom model.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You have to summon your inner elephant
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
