im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
