That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
