i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
