He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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