someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
