Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
