i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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