is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
