Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
