My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
