Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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