Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I am mentally ready for anal.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
