Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It was confusing and full of hummus
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
