Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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