There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
