I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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