Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
