your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
