I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
