Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
