yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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