That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
