so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
