What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
