I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Are we still banned from the library?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
