yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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