Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
