now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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