Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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