yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
