areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
