YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
