thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
