Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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