shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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