she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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