You're my little dorito
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
