He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
