i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
