Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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