you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
