Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
