Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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