You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
